Wake County NC HHS meeting on Adoption from Foster Care

After a couple of emails to HHS over a two week time span with no response, I called Wake County HHS to get more information on adopting out of the foster care system.  Here’s the gist of the call (not an exact replication, but close enough as I remember):

Brooke (that’s me): I’d like to get information concerning adopting out of the foster care system in Wake County.
“Jane” (not her real name): We have a meeting on the last Tuesday of every month that you need to attend, it’s at 7pm this coming Tuesday.
Brooke: Is there any literature and an application you could email/mail me?
Jane: You have to attend the meeting to get an application, but I will mail you information.
Brooke: Thanks, we’ll be there. (I give her my name & husbands, my address, etc.)

So, we go to the meeting and I’m happy to see the room is full of people. As we went through the line to get in, our names were not on the list (???) but we were given a packet and went in to sit. The first thing that gets said by Jane is “Is anyone here for just adoption? (Half the room raises their hands) Because this is a meeting about Foster Care. Wake County HHS does not handle the adoption of any of the children within the foster care system. We have 5 agencies that we work with within the state that are approved to adopt children from the foster care system. Two of those agencies are represented here tonight, so if you’ll please go with them you can have an information session with them”.

Ooookay… don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad we’re here to finally be getting some info on how to adopt from the state/county, but couldn’t she have told me that on the phone? We played beat-the-clock to get there after racing to drop our son off with friends who would watch him, only to find out that the only thing we really needed to know was that list of five agencies so we could call them up and check them out. However, it was good to talk with the ladies from the two agencies represented – Lutheran Family Services of the Carolinas (LFS) and The Children’s Home Society of North Carolina (CHS) – so we got some face-time to ask questions in person and hear the questions from the others that we might not have thought to ask. Here’s some of what we found out:

• The place to start is to contact the 5 agencies and ask questions about the things that are important to you in an agency. They have the applications and can get everything started. I’ve included links to all five agencies in the right-hand column of this site under North Carolina Resources.
• All adoptive families are required to take 30 hours of MAPP classes by the state in order to adopt from the foster care system. This class helps prepare families for what to expect in the process, issues they may encounter with the children, parenting techniques for different situations, etc. You can take the MAPP classes from any of the five agencies and all the others will accept it. I say this because the classes normally take around 6 weeks to 2 months to complete and not everyone has a new class starting right when you decide you want to take it. Check around to all of them. LFS has the option of a one-on-one/tutorial type setting for the class for those people who have schedule conflicts and difficulties. It means you have to do reading and work outside of the class time, but it’s a great option for those that can’t spend six straight Saturdays in class. There are some that offer evening classes during the week as well. After you successfully complete the classes and have an approved Home Study, you will actually be licensed by the state to be a foster parent which is required by the State in order to adopt from the system.
• Some agencies will do inter-state adoptions from other state/county systems and some won’t. Even those that do, due to the antiquated systems it’s often just email exchange between case workers that actually gets you exposed to other states’ case workers handling out-of-state children. In other words, if an agency says they do this, ask them how they go about it and how successful they’ve been in the past with finding and placing children from other states. LFS has something like a “sister” relationship with Texas, where they interact with them all the time and place children from Texas in NC frequently. While they do the other 46 continental states as well, they say it’s a bit hit-or-miss.
• The Home Study can take anywhere from 3 months to 12; it all depends on how fast you can get your end of the documentation together. YOU are responsible for getting all of the following certified copies, which takes time:
  - Criminal background checks for every county you’ve lived in since you were 18 years old
  - FBI/SBI fingerprints
  - Birth certificates
  - Marraige certificates
  - Divorce decrees
  - Medical checkups
  I believe the case worker gets the background checks from Child Welfare regarding if there are any past complaints or cases concerning you with them. Also, I believe they get the statement/referral from your current employer and personal references. Your home will need to pass a fire inspection from the Fire Marshall.When we get this process started, I’ll do a complete post on everything regarding Home Studies. In the meantime, for a great site that talks all about the Home Study and what’s involved, click here.
• The agency case workers that were there both told us that everyone is all about full disclosure both about the children and about the adoptive parents/families. Their number one priority is finding the right match for the child, and that includes making sure they know everything from both sides and so do you. What behaviors are you willing to accept? Emotional problems? Physical disabilities? Medical needs? Physical or sexual abuse? The MAPP classes and meeting with your case worker will help determine the answers to these questions. One thing they all emphasized – once you figure your “tolerances” out on what you can accept, don’t stretch those boundaries just because you fall in love with a child’s picture. A lot of the times where they see difficulties after placement is when the parents have hedged into some areas they originally weren’t willing to accept. Understand that the areas where you may have difficulties accepting, someone else out there may be uniquely situated to deal with that very thing. It’s a disservice to everyone not to be completely honest and real about what you can handle and what you can’t.
• These children are traumatized, at best. Keep in mind the reason these children are in the system – because the courts had to remove them from their parents due to neglect, abuse, and/or abandonment. Aside from what they’ve already experienced in their home, they may have gone through a period within foster care where they were with a foster family that they now have to leave, or could have been in a “group home” setting. They may have been through months of the system trying to help their parents rehabilitate so they could have their children back before finally determining that it isn’t possible. The case workers said that at least half of the kids within the system have been sexually abused or exposed to inappropriate sexual content or situations for their age, either within their original home or possibly within the group home from other children. Absolutely none of this is easy for the children. The good thing is, the case worker is there to help every step of the way and knows resources, counselors, and support groups to help you and your new family if needed. These are children that were in bad situations out of their control that are trying to cope as best they can, and most all of them are very good kids who want love that just need a chance, maybe some adjustment time, and a permanent family and home.

So in summary, here’s the process:

1. Contact the agencies and determine which one fits your needs best.
2. Take MAPP classes and complete the Home Study
3. Determine what child attributes, behaviors, and conditions are okay with you so your case worker knows how to search
4. Wait.
5. Wait.
6. Wait.
7. Get the call! You get to review and discuss the dossier of your prospective child in detail with the case worker (both yours and the child’s) and have time to make a decision. If you choose to move ahead, then…
8. Transition begins, starting with a short visit first then building up to overnight visitation. Length and frequency of the visits will depend on the child’s age, personality, and individual needs. If the child is out-of-state, the phone calls happen first (depending on age) then you may be required to fly out for a short period to have some initial meetings before the child is allowed to come back to your home state (and your home).
9. The child is usually in your home for a few months before the adoption petition is filed. These months are not a “trial period”, instead it gives the agency time to work with you and your child to make sure all supportive services you may need are arranged. The Adoption Decree is usually issued 3-6 months after the adoption petition is filed.

That’s all I know for now!

Advertisement